There really isn't more than meets the eye

Michael Bay hasn't worked on other projects lately because he's been so hard at work putting out the (hopefully) last installment of his 'Transformers' trilogy. I think it's time to move on.

As a huge fan of the Transformers, it pains me to see what Michael Bay has done to the franchise. Transformers could work as a high octane action-packed sci-fi thriller, but Bay's feeble attempt to make the trilogy about something more than just robots fighting sucks all the energy (and fun) out of it. I mean after all, that's really all Transformers has been- giant robots fighting. 

As we've learned from past experience, Michael Bay doesn't DO story. This is very evident in 'Dark of the Moon' when characters go missing for no reason at all for forty minutes at a time, only to reappear, out of all the chaos, at the precise moment to save somebody's life. There is so much going on here that even Bay has a hard time keeping track of what's going on and who's where and as a result, even major plot points are never explained.

Shia LaBeouf became a big name in Hollywood after Bay's first installment playing Sam Witwicky, the unlikely teenage hero who happened across a gorgeous Camero and from there found himself caught in the middle of a war waged between two robot-like factions from another planet. Now he's back to save Earth from the Decepticons a third time and yes, he is just as annoying as ever. By now Sam is supposed to be all grown up, living on his own with a brand new girlfriend, yet he pouts and whines like a little kid because he can't find a job. During the second film all he wanted to do was get away from the Transformers now he is crying because he can't be with them; just one of many writing inconsistencies throughout.

Speaking of writing, the script is horrible! Most of what everybody says in this movie makes no sense. I caught myself asking "Did he/she really just say that?" many times during this movie and the lines that you can tell are supposed to be funny aren't. To make things worse, "Dark of the Moon" is full of cheesy one-liners that totally miss their mark. In one scene in particular, Iron Hide tears a Decepticon apart and finishes him with, "Class dismissed". There was never a reference to any class being in session.

As I mentioned earlier, I am a fan of Transformers: the cartoons, the action figures, even the first movie; so I always get a kick out of Optimus Prime tearing through other robots like they're nothing. Too bad it only happens for a total of about ten minutes out of the two-and-a-half hour run-time.

I think Mr. Witwicky sums it up the best when he says "... a bad sci-fi movie". 

Super 8 is "Good"

"What?!" "Is he crazy!?" "How could he possibly think that?!" Were those a few of your thoughts as your read my title? Apparently I am the only person I know who doesn't think that J.Jaybrams' new film is amazing.

I do not want to spoil anything for anybody but by this point I am sure that most of you have heard about what Super 8 is all about. A group of hopeful 12-year-old filmmakers set out to make the prize-winning film for an international film festival when a train crash starts a string of mysterious events around town: dogs go missing, car engines disappear over night, people vanish left and right, the airforce even comes to town, and nobody can seem to piece together exactly what's going on.

The premise alone is reason to see this film an it does keep you guessing throughout. Sadly, absolutely nothing is revealed until the last act. Why is that not a good thing? Because as I sat in my chair and we passed the one hour mark, I hoped and prayed that the answer wouldn't be as obvious as it actually comes out to be. The last twenty minutes or so of this film is a let down and even feels a bit lazy. 

As for the group of hopeful 12-year-old filmmakers, they are what make this movie. Riley Griffiths is constantly funny as the wannabe director obssessing over his film. Elle Fanning is superb as Alice and Joel Courtney does a nice job holding it all together as the story's centerfold. These kids feel genuine in their roles and are likeable as the glue that ties everything together. We also get a handful of side characters, some who add the the emotional depth of the story and others who just make us laugh.

I, however, am not going to ignore the obvious plothole in this film. WHY ISN'T THE GUY DEAD? That's all I am going to ask.

When talking about this movie, you might hear the word "mint" thrown round a lot. Abrams' new sci-fi flick is good summer entertainment, and may even bring back memories of the good, ole days, but "mint" isn't the right word.

Review: Kung Fu Panda 2 (The Kaboom of Doom?)

Rarely do sequels come close to being as good as, or even surpass, the original. Now, I wouldn't go so far as to say that Kung Fu Panda 2 is better than the first; regardless, it is still a good movie.

The Dragon Warrior is back in action in Dreamworks' follow-up to their 2008 smash hit. This time Po finds himself struggling with once faded memories about his painful seperation with his biological parents while, at the same time, trying to save China from the world's first WMDs.

I know you've probably heard it from many other critics, but the voice acting in this film is terrific. Jack Black leads a talented voice cast made up of big names like Dustin Hoffman, Angelina Jolie, Seth Rogen, Jackie Chan, and Gary Oldman, who plays Lord Shen, a power hungry peacock bent on reclaiming the throne his father once promised him.

It is up to Po and the rest of the Furious Five to stop Shen and destroy his multitude of powerful cannons in order to save China and the Kung Fu lifestyle. They go about doing this through beautiful animation and one nicely stylized fight sequence after another. I have yet to see it in 3D so I cannot comment on that just yet.

Aside from the large amount of talent and , this movie is flat out enjoyable because it is easy to become emotionally connected with these characters; either I was laughing at the jokes, with the characters, or I was feeling their pain. At all times I felt invested in what was going on and it made the hour-and-a-half runtime fly by.

This movie owes its success to its large heart and its ability to take already lovable characters, mix in some great new ones, and blend it all into one great, heart-tugging animated flick.

Review: The Hangover Part II

zRemember The Hangover? The sick gags and hilarious jokes? Well picture that same exact thing... Only in Thailand.

 

I have been reading (and watching) reviews of this movie and the biggest complaint, by far, is that 'Part II' is the same, exact thing as 'Part I'. Okay, so that part isn't far off...

Remember when Doug was getting married and the boys got hammered at his bachelor party, only to wake up the next morning and remember nothing? Well, this time it's Ed Helms' Stu who is getting married and yes, the do get hammered at his bachelor party only to wake up the next morning and find they remember nothing. However, there are slight variations: Instead of missing a tooth, Ed Helms is sporting a Tysonsce tattoo; instead of a tiger in the room, it's a drug dealing monkey; instead of a missing Doug, Stu's future brother-in-law is MIA. See, not the exact same thing.

But since when have moviegoers cared about originality? Have they not been paying attention to most of what Hollywood has been putting out lately or what they plan on? A fourth Pirates of the Caribbean? A fifth Fast and Furious? Scream 4? Another 'Madea' movie? The Smurfs, among many others? Originality isn't exactly a valuable commodity these days. In fact, I cannot decide whether or not this movie is incredibly lazy for just rehashing the same formula as the original or if it's genius for proving that you can top the box office with the same, old song and dance.

Anywho, none of that really matters because this movie is frickin' hilarious. Ed Helms keeps on his roll as the nice guy with a bad boy side, Bradley Cooper is just as crude as ever, and Zach Galifianakis has the best lines in the movie and nails all of them with impeccable delivery.

My only complaint with this movie is that it starts off slow, but once it gets going, it will keep you entertained all the way through the end credits and isn't that what movies are supposed to do?

Review: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

What do you do when your name is Disney and you hit the jackpot with a insanely popular, billion-dollar movie franchise? Well, you make more! But that doesn't necessarily mean you should...

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides brings everybody's favorite swashbuckler back to the big screen for his fourth crack at eternal life. This time around, Captain Jack Sparrow is hellbent on finding the Fountain of Youth.

After the previous two installments in the series, I must say that I feel some personal satisfaction to see Disney ditch Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley. Their bickering, on-again-off-again relationship eventually overshadowed Johnny Depp and, along with some serious story issues, sucked all of the fun out of the last couple films. Now I'm not saying that On Stranger Tides is flawless, but it sure is nice to see Captain Jack take back the franchise that made him so popular.  

With that, Disney has not totally ditched the idea of a more love interests. In this sequel, we get a romance between a missionary and a mermaid to mirror that of Will and Elizabeth's; even Captain Jack gets a few raised eyebrows as an ex-lover of his is brought back into the picture. At times, these romances feel a little out of place under the circumstances: we've never met most of these characters but suddenly we're supposed to feel for them just because their in love; but they never overshadow the plot, which is much easier to follow than some of the other films.

Having seen this movie in both dimensions, I can say that the 3D  does not enhance the overall viewing and if it does at some point, the screen was too dark to make a difference.

Yes the plot is a bit silly, there are two awkward romances going at the same time, the 3D was a fail, and most of the scenes are dragged out for far too long, but you know what? I was consistantly entertained.

Review: Dylan Dog: Dead of Night

Dylan Dog came out on April 29th and already it has dropped off the radar. I am here to tell you that there is a good reason for that.

Continuing the trend of boring vampire/ werewolf films, Dylan Dog adds a new element to the mix- film noir. At least it tires to... Based on a series of Italian comic books, this film follows the story of the title character, a detective of the undead, who is is brought back into the life he thought he left behind after an alleged werewolf attack kills a mere mortal after years of peace.

Now if you saw the trailer for this a few times and then heard nothing about it after it was released, it's because this movie is pretty horrible.

To start, the dialogue in this film is boring and uncreative. It is full of cheesy one-liners that fail to pack a punch or even make the audience laugh. Admitedly, I laughed at a couple lines in this film but they were all delivered from the comic relief fellow who seemed to be trying just a little too hard and, in all honesty, I had to laugh to keep myself awake. Even the voiceover lacked any umph.

About halfway into the film, the action sequences started becoming a bit too tedious for me. Dlan Dog would pull out his gun, get the gun knocked away from him, and then he would have to kick butt in hand-to-hand combat. It was the same formula almost every time and each action sequence started off with the exact same scare tactic. Eventually I just knew when somebody was going to jump out and that a fight would follow.

I am not going to waste your time (or mine) anymore by going into anymore details about why this movie almost put me to sleep. There was so much potential for this movie and nothing got taken advantage of.

Review: Water for Elephants

With Remember Me, Robert Pattinson didn't have too much luck with his first break from the Twilight franchise. So is second time the charm for this young actor?

Well, that is kind of a tough question to answer. Robert Pattinson cannot play a large range of characters, as he is limited by his lack of talent. In Water for Elephants he plays Jacob, a 1930s Cornell U student studying to be a veterinarian; however, doesn't graduate after the death of his parents leaves him with no home and no money. Jacob becomes depressed as he must walk away from everything he has known in order to rebuild his life.

This type of character is, in ways, similar to that of Edward Cullen, the role that made Mr. Pattinson so famous with preteenage girls all over the world. In that respect, he does an exceptable job for the first twenty minutes of the introduction. However, it is when Jacob stows away aboard a circus train and meets the love of his life, along with her psychopathic husband, that Pattinson becomes upstaged by much greater talent than his own.

Academy Award Winner Reese Witherspoon plays Marlena, the circus' star attraction and wife of the circus' owner. The romance scenes between Pattinson and Witherspoon feel lopsided, aslmost as if an Oscar-winning actress is rehersing her lines with a stand-in, who can only murmur his lines, because her opposite got sick and couldn't show up.

Things only get worse for Pattinson after yet another Academy Award Winner rears his face. Christoph Waltz plays August, the circus' corrupt owner who suspects Jacob and his wife of having an affair. Waltz is one of the greatest villain actors of our day and he doesn't hold anything back for this film. His performance quickly becomes the film's main attraction and made me feel as if though my time was well spent.

Outside of the two Oscar winners, however, the rest of the supporting cast does not give a very performance and some of the lines felt dry and lacked any type of originality.

By the end of the film, I felt like this movie barely reached its goal of being a moving, romantic drama. Had it not been for the two  talented supporting actors, this film would have been completely boring. Maybe you should just rent it.

P.S.
My favorite ending in a film since Jurassic Park.