5.) Dark Shadows
Yes, wandering aimlessly from one gothic set piece to another whilst cracking jokes (and I am using this word loosely) about Alice Cooper being a girl may look good on paper, seeing it on screen bored me to, well... death.
4.) John Carter
I have not been this bored during a two-and-a-half-hour long big-budget, sci-fi, (romance?), action movie since Avatar.
3.) Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
If a crazy-ass Nicholas Cage performance cannot save your movie from being one of the most BORING superhero (antihero?), action movies EVER, then you don't belong in Hollywood. Come to think of it, this is one of Cage's more laid back performances.
2.) Battleship
Never before have I wanted to leave a movie at FIVE different points (that's right, I counted). The only thing that kept me in my seat for the duration was hope that I would catch the fleeting glimpse of Liam Neeson's next screen appearance.
1.) The Devil Inside
Not scary. Barely captivating. Horribly written. Mediocre acting. And I'm pretty sure that every single person who saw this movie was disappointed by what was very possibly one of the worst endings in movie history.
I look forward to the bashings I may receive from those readers who are convinced that John Carter is a good movie. Next week I will post my five favorite films of the year so far.
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